A Scream You Can’t Drown Out

I'm such a contradiction.
I want someone to adore me,
But push away any love I feel.
I want someone to notice me,
But I hide in the shadows instead.

Save me from my own thoughts
Of doubt and insecurities.
Stop me from limiting myself
And incarcerating my mind.

Give me a reason to believe in myself.
To create a world with a different cliché.
Where my ideas are turned into actions,
Instead of a ridiculed pile of deceit.

This life I’ve tried to live,
Has been one of feeling second-best.
These days that I endure,
Have become a dreadful punishment

I can't run away from my mind.

Save me from my own thoughts
Of doubt and insecurities.
Stop me from limiting myself
And incarcerating my mind.

Give me a reason to believe in myself.
To create a world with a different cliché.
Where my ideas are turned into actions,
Instead of a ridiculed pile of deceit.

Until then I’ll just wait incessantly,
Longing for the future and resenting the past.
For my thoughts are a burden I must carry
Until the very end of eternity.

Just Call It A Cruel Slap Of Reality.

Tell me;
What do you do when all the people around you,
who you have relied on so much,
seem to just leave you alone to deteriorate?

Tell me;
What do you do when you’ve given up on hope
and let time pass you by ,
so it can place you into something better?

Tell me;
What do you do when you take a look inside,
and realized the steam fogging the mirror
lead you to believe otherwise?

And what was really there just seemed like a fantasy.

You’ll fall into that deep void again,
hoping your cry will be heard.
You pray that a savior will come,
To help you emerge from that shadow leaking into your soul.

But please, just tell me;
What do you do when you’ve become invisible?
you seem to notice the thin veil that slipped away
that made your realization possible.

Tell me;
How you get over that massive shock
When you notice how thin this lie ran,
But how much it clouded your judgment?

So, Tell me;
How to start over once you have nowhere to fall ,
When you’re left without an option,
But to crawl back into square one?


And that smile that used to live in your heart was a washable medicine

You shudder at the idea that it’s all coming back again.
You pray that one day, your life will turn around,
Your ideas will be heard
And the people you trusted become more than paper thin

Tell me,
How your supporters that cheered you on,
seemed to start a rivalry.
Shredding your last support to lean on

Tell me,
How you know it’s easier to throw everything away,
Burning the thin strings that wove you together,
To leave you as just another blank space.

Just tell me
How impossibly difficult it is to just let go,
Walk away from the toxicity surrounding you,
And to gasp in a breath of fresh air.

And learn how to smile truthfully once again.

You’ll take your time regaining your strengths.
You’ll find newer outlets, which let you breathe.
You’ll take the first step forward
And it’s all it takes for you to run away from your past.

Fate And Other Four Letter Words

Life has a funny way of working itself out.
And once it does,
You look back,

And you're gratefull for how somethings ended up.
You just have to hold on in the mean time.

Don't wory, you'll survive this.
It's not like you trully needed me before.

I was a temporary guide
Knowing I'd be discarded soon enough.

It's blissful to know how ignorant I seemed to be,
To the pain I felt once it occured.

I seems my mind is incapable of conjuring
Just the right phrases on how to intervene.

You're on self destruction mode.
And it pains me to sit on the sidelines.

Your intentions are blatantly shown,
Although your mind belives obscurity is present.
I just don't have the heart to push you away.

It hurts;
To know I've been replaced.
I'm a thing of the past.

But my history allows me to read you well.
Just enough to get a hint of knowing,
your heart wants me in your present.

My timing was just a second off,
Preventing for anything to fall into place

But I remain unaffected;

For life has a funny way of working itself out.
And once it does,
You look back,

And you're gratefull for how somethings ended up...
You just have to hold on in the mean time.