The Diagnostic Psyche of Separation Anxiety.

My heart is cruel to me.
I’m a tragic, devastating devoted mess,
And no one seems to have the remedy to this.

I wonder if I’m truly craving you.
The holistic form of what you think,
How you act, and the effect that it has on me…

Or am I craving something resembling this existence of yours?
With your same mindset, outlook
And compatibility of matching wounds…

Do you know how excruciatingly painful it is,
To replay every short second spent with you, every sentence shared,
Wondering what kind of thoughts were running through your head.
And if by any miracle they matched mine?

I’ve told myself time and time again,
That I just CAN’T have you.
But just because my intellectuality has registered that,
Doesn’t mean my heart is willingly following these orders.

If I could turn off these nagging emotions,
As easily as I turn off my sense of judgment when I’m around you,
I wouldn’t have such a substantial dilemma on my hands.

No one else notices the severity of this sickness.
If anyone was to find the elixir to end all of this,
I would down the bottle in a matter of seconds.

I would attempt any solution to end this, once and for all.
Because it’s sickening how you flood my thoughts,
Without giving it an ounce of effort.

Would you consider me selfish?
To desire something so strongly,
But something as simple as a conversation,
To call ours, and reminisce later on.

But once again, I’ll conceal these emotions.
Because the risk of spilling my heart to you,
And having you reject it,
Will send me to the most crazed level of insanity.