Malevolently Compassionate.

I really need to learn to control my emotions.
I lash out at those who instigate pain
Possibly because of the countless times,
I’ve been shred to pieces.

Trust is nothing coherent with me.
Every time I hand it out,
It’s pure, clean and true.
But returns with stab wounds, and shoe prints.

Don’t question me on how I manage,
To return it to that state every single time.
To purify it of the sorrow, and lies,
It has been deceitfully contaminated with.

Even thought I handed my trust to you,
On that shining, equable platter.
And you took it for granted,
Treated it like some inconsequential piece of matter,

It doesn’t justify my actions , so childish and wrong,
For treating you like this.
The hypocrisy I’m instigating,
Despises my conscience to the deepest of levels.

Teach me how to control myself.
Restrain my levels of rage,
And cut down my catty ways.
Thus producing a more ‘emotion friendly’ me.

I’ve lost deep relationships to this before.
And I would gladly shut up,
To not lose you as a friend too.
But it seems I learned my lesson too late.

I wonder what the outcome would have become,
If I had know back then what I know now.
If the collisions created, and the storms I instigated,
Would have all been easily avoided.

But now I’m left here to ponder,
If you will ever accept my apology.
Yes, I took it too far, and I’ve realized it.
But you’re not completely innocent yourself.

Just know, that you opened my eyes.
Showed me something I was unaware of.
And gave me enough motivation,
To change my faults I dislike the most.

You did all that, by not saying one word…